Archive for My insights

Are You Suffering from Chronic Stress?

November 13, 2010 katmill My insights
Feature Cardiac

For most people these days, stress is at an all time high. With a rocky economy, jobs being cut, and more demands on our time than ever before, people are feeling the effects of stress on a more regular basis.

Stress itself is a natural and normal reaction to events and situations, whether real or perceived. If you are faced with an emergency situation, stress can save your life. It is what keeps you focused and alert while giving a speech, presentation or performance.

We all deal with some stress at any given time. But when stress is increased and experienced for longer periods of time, the body will begin to feel the effects on a more consistent basis. And with more people facing more frustration, fear and uncertainty, stress levels may be continuing much longer than normal.

One of the first signs of chronic stress comes in the form of pain. This can be experienced anywhere in the body, but occurs most frequently in the form of headaches, back pain and neck and shoulder pain.

Some of the physical problems that can be caused or exacerbated by chronic stress are increased blood pressure, which can increase risk of heart attack and stroke.

The immune system is also compromised, which can leave you open to viruses and flu.

Chronic Stress also created digestive problems such as upset stomach, heartburn, constipation and nausea.

For some people, the strain of dealing with stress for lengthened periods can lead to depression and anxiety.

If you have experienced any of these symptoms, the first course of action is to visit your physician to rule out other health issues that can have similar symptoms.

And if you are feeling the effects of stress, make time daily to relax and decompress through exercise, meditation, watching a funny movie, listening to soothing music or deep breathing. Your health depends on it.


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Managing Stress in the Midst of Divorce

July 18, 2010 katmill My insights
Feature Man with Hand on Head

Divorce and separation is never easy. As a matter of fact it is downright painful and difficult. When you’ve shared your life with someone for years, to have that relationship come to an end can be more than a little unsettling. You must deal with the pain, anger, frustration, uncertainty and guilt. Divorce is considered one of the most stressful events that a person can live through. Everything is changing, and that change creates massive amounts of stress. It’s easy to lose your sense of self and your identity in the process. Having to readjust to living on your own, a change of finances, dividing property, child custody and support, and the idea of facing single life can make a person feel very overwhelmed and alone. And trust me, I know exactly what you are going through because I’ve been there myself.

Because of that, I know how important it is to manage your stress during this transition in your life. If you forget to nurture yourself, you are guaranteed to encounter greater periods of depression, anxiety and illness, which can prevent you from healing and learning how to really live again.

Here are a few tips to help you recover from divorce more smoothly.

1. Allow yourself to grieve. Grief is a natural part of life and a part of the healing process. When you stuff down the negative emotions, you will start to experience all kinds of health issues. Does it suck to have to experience grief? Absolutely. But I promise that if you allow yourself to recognize the emotions and accept them then you allow the emotions to begin gradually lessening in intensity. If you feel like crying? Have a great cry. Crying is extremely therapeutic and is such a great stress reliever. If you are feeling angry? Let it out….in a healthy way, of course. Punch your pillow, or scream out loud. It’s okay to feel that way.

2. Surround yourself with a good support system. It is so important for you to talk about what you are going through. Talk with your family members (a parent or adult sibling) or a close, trusted friend. Please, do not talk about your feelings with your children. Young children are not equipped to deal with adult feelings and problems and unloading on them will create a tremendous amount of stress on them. Divorce support groups are great because everyone in the group has been or is going through exactly the same thing you are, and it helps to know that you are not alone. You might even get some valuable information or advice that can help you through the process a little more easily. Just find a group that works for you. It’s okay to visit more than one group to find the right fit. Last, but certainly not least, it is always a great idea to talk with a professional therapist. For some people there is a stigma about visiting a therapist, but let me tell you from personal experience, that licensed therapists have healing tools that can really help you through the grief and stress of divorce.

3. When you are ready, get involved in hobbies or activities that you enjoy. If you love to garden, go and dig your hands down in the dirt. Maybe you’ve always wanted to take a ballroom dance class. Go for it! Find something that you are interested in and follow your passion. This is a great time to take up something that you’ve always been interested in, but haven’t tried.

4. Get plenty of exercise. Exercise is one of the the top ways to reduce stress quickly. Walking in the fresh air and sunshine can give your spirits a boost. Taking a yoga, pilates or tai chi class is soothing to the soul and these forms of exercise help you to focus on deep breathing with is another huge stress reliever. Taking a dance class can start helping you to begin having some fun again. Find a form of exercise that you enjoy. Any exercise that you do releases endorphins which are the “feel good” chemicals in your body, which will help to diffuse any depression that you may be experiencing.

5. Watch what you eat. Often when a person is stressed, they suddenly find that they may begin craving sugary foods or highly processed junk foods. These foods have little nutritional value, but when you eat them, they release a little burst of seratonin which temporarily makes you feel better. Unfortunately, that feeling doesn’t last very long and you find that you need more and more junk food to feel better. Before you know it, you’ve gained weight and end up feeling even worse about yourself. Other people, when stressed out, don’t eat and lose weight. This can have serious health consequences. Eat regular, well balanced meals with plenty of fresh fruits, veggies, whole grains and good quality lean protein. These foods will nourish your body, and help you to feel better.

6. Do some deep breathing. Deep breathing exercises are very good for helping to reduce stress quickly. 2-3 minutes of deep breathing several times a day can work wonders for helping to calm you and make you feel better quickly.

7. Journal your experiences and feelings. Writing down what you are going through can be a very powerful way to help you deal with the emotions that you will encounter as you are healing from divorce. A journal really allows you to get out everything that you are feeling. And you can use your journal to write “letters” to your ex-spouse or partner. Whether you mail them or not is up to you. Often just writing on paper the things that you would really like to say to them is a powerful healing tool.

8. Laugh, laugh, laugh. Okay, so right now you only feel like crying? Find something that makes you laugh. Whether it’s watching your favorite comedian, a great sitcom, funny videos on Youtube, or just watching the silly antics of your dog or cat, laughing is incredibly healing and a tremendous tool in the stress management arsenal. Better yet, see if there is a laughter yoga club in your area. Laughter yoga is based on intentional laughter and you absolutely do not have to feel like laughing to participate. The laughter yoga crew have a motto “fake it till you make it” which relies on a hearty fake laughter. After 5-10 minutes of laughter yoga, you will be laughing for real. And the major reduction in stress that you will feel will absolutely amaze you. Laughter yoga is currently being used with cancer patients, in nursing homes and in prisons with great results!

9. Make sure you are drinking plenty of water. Often in times of stress, when our energy is low, we reach for a cup of coffee, a soda or an energy drink. Drinking water can make sure that you stay hydrated. When you become dehydrated, it zaps you of your energy and makes in more difficult to concentrate.

10. Take a good multi-vitamin. Some vitamins and minerals actually help to reduce stress in the body, such as the b-complex of vitamins and magnesium. So a good multi-vitamin should be a daily part of your routine.

11. If you are having problems with insomnia, good natural supplements such as melatonin or valerian can help you to sleep.

12. Try using essential oils. Essential oils have wonderful healing and nurturing properties that can really help you to reduce stress while coping with divorce. Some of the best essential oils to use are: Chamomile, Lavender, Jasmine and Ylang Ylang. Make sure that you find essential oils that are therapeutic grade. This grade is all natural and not synthetic. Also, it is important that you do not use essential oils by themselves. They are highly concentrated and can irritate the skin. You must mix them in a carrier oil, such as sweet almond oil, apricot oil or jojoba oil. The general rule is to mix 3-5 drops in every teaspoon of carrier oil and then rub it on your skin. You can also mix the essential oils in distilled water and use as a room or body spray. Simply mix 10-20 drops in 2 oz. of distilled water. Another popular way to use essential oil is to put several drops in bathwater and soak for 20 minutes. I love to mix in some dead sea salts which contain magnesium and other vital nutrients. If I’ve had a stressful day, I will put a drop or two on a cotton ball and place it on my nightstand.

I hope these tips help to make this chapter of your life a little easier to go through. Just remember that this is only a temporary period of your life. Soon, you will be on the road to feeling better, experiencing peace and joy again and learning how to really enjoy your life. Here’s to a relaxed and peaceful day!

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Busting the Clutter

July 6, 2010 katmill My insights
Feature Clutter

We’ve all had a house that is cluttered. A pile of mail that we need to address, clothes stacked up, dirty dishes in the sink and covering the counter tops, little things that simply need to be put in their proper place. But did you know that clutter can actually significantly add to your stress level, and ultimately compromise your health and well being?

Often, we put off clearing the clutter because we are simply too busy with other more important tasks to get to the clutter piles. And then when we look around and see the clutter, we simply get overwhelmed and our stress increases. We keep telling ourselves “I really need to clean that up!” but somehow, it continues to pile up and we get even more stressed out.

A clutter free living environment helps to reduce stress. When our home is relatively free from clutter, it allows us to breathe and to focus on the more important tasks ahead of us.

So how do you tackle the clutter? The best way is to focus on a smaller cleaning task rather than becoming overwhelmed by looking at the big picture. Plan on conquering one room at a time, and break it down even further to finish one task in your focus room at a time. When it comes to the family, get them involved. Set up a cleaning list for each family member. Then have each family member complete one chore at a time-if you give them more than one, then they can get overwhelmed and you’ll find that they will tend to procrastinate more, so break it down. Even the younger children can help with things like putting toys away, or throwing dirty clothes in the hamper.

Incentives work well for the kids, so encouraging them to help with cleaning with the promise of a special treat, toy or movie can go along way. Of course, there is always the incentive of the allowance. Many parents assign monetary values to different reoccurring chores. If the kids complete that chore, then at the end of the week, they will receive an allowance based on the work that they completed. Don’t forget to give them praise and positive reinforcement for a job well done. It will go a long way to helping them to be more cooperative in the future.

Put together a goal sheet for clearing the clutter. Break it down into small enough pieces, so that you aren’t having to clean for hours at a time. Allot a specific, and achievable amount of time to do some cleaning. When you write down your cleaning goals, it will give you a greater sense of focus and allow you to really see what you are accomplishing as you cross each task off of your list.

My husband tends to be a very messy person. But I am fairly organized. And to top it off, he hates to clean. What I realized was that he did not actually hate cleaning. He was allowing his things to pile up so much that he was feeling very overwhelmed, and in turn it really stressed him out. When he couldn’t stand the mess any longer, he had so many things on his to do list, that he simply didn’t know where to start. So often times, he ended up not doing anything.

Once I recognized that it was the overwhelm and the resulting stress that were the real culprit, I began having him decide what was the most important cleaning task for him to finish first. Then I had him focus on that one task. If he began wandering away from that task, I helped him to get back on track. But breaking the cleaning down into smaller pieces, it has allowed him to be less overwhelmed and stressed out, and he’s actually volunteering to clean more often, and our house in general is much more organized.

So try putting together a plan to bust your clutter. You will be amazed how much better you feel and you be able to reduce your stress level and improve your well-being and your life!

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Is the Nightly News Making You Sick?

July 6, 2010 katmill My insights
Feature TV

Stress is everywhere these days. But most people are completely unaware of a stress inducing activity that is performed daily that could be increasing your stress problems. You get home from work and you decide to turn on the evening news. The stories you hear are all about the latest Hollywood or political scandal, natural disasters, major accidents, child abductions, murder and a host of other things that make us angry, frustrated or sad.

After watching a newscast, how do you feel? Relaxed? Calm? No way!

I guarantee those would not be typical responses to watching the news. Television news bases which stories they air based on what type of stories will get the best ratings. And heartwarming stories simply do not get the type of ratings that a story like the “Balloon Boy” scandal, Michael Jackson’s death, Octomom, or the Acorn scandal do. Sometimes we simply can’t stop ourselves from being drawn into the excitement or tragedy.

So the news is padded with horrible, anger invoking, frustrating, infuriating stories that aim to draw the most viewers. And the body’s natural response to this type of story is to tense up and become more stressed.

And of course, an increase of stress without relief can create physical, mental and emotional illness. And watching the news can stress you out!

So I encourage you to turn off the news. Choose to watch a rerun of a great sitcom or movie and let yourself laugh. Laughter is a great way to relieve stress!

Limit the amount of time you spend watching news programs. It takes relatively little time to get caught up with what is going on in the world, without having to be glued to the television watching hours worth of news programs.

Just remember that the more news you watch, the more stressed out you will be. See how much more relaxed you are if you simply turn off the news more frequently.  Your health will benefit greatly.

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Have You Forgotten How to Have Fun?

April 15, 2010 katmill My insights
Feature Beach Play

Have you forgotten how to have fun? Interesting question, isn’t it. Here’s another one for you. Have you forgotten how to play? I want you to take a walk down memory lane to the time when you were a child. How often did you play then? As children, we all certainly know how to play. We are full of creativity and there are no creative boundaries.

I remember plenty of times when my friends, siblings and I would dress up and put on a play (my cousin and I loved to create a play each Christmas, complete with a wig for Mrs. Claus that was made of pantyhose twisted into a bun covered in glued on cotton balls). We had beauty pageants, and created our own radio shows. One day I would be a famous movie star or singer (after all, I WAS the next Marie Osmond…..in my mind at least.)

We would be out in the backyard playing from the moment we got out of school until sundown. All that time creating, and having fun.

Just think about how often kids laugh. They laugh a lot. And sometimes, they seemingly laugh at nothing at all. I certainly remember frequently laughing until my stomach hurt, or laughing until there were tears streaming down my face.

When is the last time you laughed until you cried? For many people, they simply can’t remember the last time they laughed so hard that the tears began streaming.

These days, adults are incredibly engrossed in the activities of daily life. With all the focus on their job, paying the bills, getting the house cleaned, playing taxi driver to the kids, community activities, church activities and everything else that crowds into an already crowded life, it is frighteningly easy to forget to laugh, to play, to have fun.

Make a conscious choice to stop taking yourself too seriously (which I’ve been guilty of in the past myself), and choose times to have fun.

Playing, having fun and laughter are incredibly freeing. They all promote a release of stress, and let me tell you, we are a society of very stressed out people.

If more people took time out of their busy schedules to play and laugh regularly, there wouldn’t been as much illness plaguing our country as there is today. Laughing boosts immune system function and increases production of t-cells which are known to help aid in the destruction of cancer cells.

Laughing is also very good for your heart. And it is a fabulous pain reliever.

So make a commitment to yourself to increase the time that you play……creative, freeing and fun play. And give yourself permission to laugh….and then laugh often.

In doing this, you will find that your spirit will begin to lift, you’ll feel better, your stress will be reduced and your health will begin to improve.

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My Journey to Laughter

April 11, 2010 katmill My insights

In the past year I turned 40. And since that major birthday has come along, I have really begun taking stock of my life….of who I really am, what I really want out of life and what is really most important to me in my life. I can look back at the last 40 years, and I have a lot to be proud of. I’ve achieved some pretty great things.

But over the last decade or so, there has been something missing, and it has only been in the last year that I’ve truly understood what it was that my heart and soul were longing for…….fun.

We live in a very serious world. All you have to do is turn on the television or your computer and you are bombarded with stories of destruction, death, crime, corruption, scandal, financial woes, anger, frustration and pain. And the news stations do a great job repeating these dark stories over and over again 24/7. Add to that the responsibilities of everyday life. Doing your job well,  managing finances, taking care of your family, and every other responsibility that we must face everyday. With all of that to manage, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut. To forget about going out and having fun. To forget to laugh.

I realized in the past year, that all of that is exactly what was happening to me. I was forgetting what it was like to have fun, to laugh just because. I wasn’t happy, and that was carrying through to my marriage, my job, my life.

About a year and a half ago, I began realizing that something needed to change. I was unsatisfied and unfulfilled in my job, my marriage just seemed boring, I was about to go out of my mind because I was always pretty much stressed out or bored to tears. What it took me a little longer to realize however, was that there was nothing wrong with my job, and that I actually have a pretty darn good marriage.

I knew that I was feeling a great deal of stress, and I could easily observe how many others around me were being consumed by stress as well. There was lots of complaining going on, and very little gratitude being displayed. I was definitely taking myself too seriously!

So, recognizing my high level of stress, I began learning about stress management and how to reduce stress levels. I began practicing deep breathing, hypnosis, meditation, exercise and progressive relaxation techniques to lift my stress and lighten my spirit. I even took certification courses in hypnotherapy (I am a certified hypnotist) and stress management (I am a certified stress management coach). Those techniques definitely helped to reduce my stress level significantly, and have helped me to cope with some difficult issues over the past year. But even though my stress was reduced, there was still something missing for me. I still felt a heaviness in my spirit…in my heart and soul that no matter what I tried, I could not seem to shake.

My discovery of the power of laughter came as I was researching other, less talked about forms of stress relief for an article I was working on for my coaching website. One of those stress relief tools was laughter.  Now, I’ve always loved to laugh. The family I grew up in has always been funny, silly and boisterous.  But as my siblings and I grew up, got married and began growing families of our own, we don’t gather together as often as we used to. And I was getting too serious in my everyday life to laugh the way I once did.

As I was doing research about laughter and stress, I came across a great deal of information about laughter yoga. HUH?  Laughter and yoga. I have to admit that I was intrigued. I imagined a group of people twisting themselves in to pretzels and laughing. But as I researched further, I realized that that wasn’t what laughter yoga was at all.

Laughter yoga is about intentional laughter…..laughing out loud, for no reason at all, combined with deep yoga breathing and stretching.

I spent hours watching videos of different laughter yoga classes and laughter clubs that first day. I read all of the information that I could find. And I laughed right along with them…..for no reason. And when I went to bed that night, for the first time in as long as I could remember, my spirit felt light again. I felt good in a way that I hadn’t experienced in years.

It was as if my heart and soul, that had been locked away in a cold, dark prison had finally been set free.

Since that time, I still practice laughing daily. And it has been amazing to see the changes in my life as a result.  The most pronounced change is of course the way I view life. I certainly don’t take myself as seriously, and I find that when difficult times come my way, it is so much easier to deal with them now. Another great benefit has been the amazing transformation of my marriage. What once was tense and at times boring has become playful. My husband was a person who took himself even more seriously than I took myself. And although he does not practice laughter yoga, just being around my laughter has lightened his spirit as well. We are much more playful together and laugh a lot more together. I’ve seen his smile more in the last several months that I did during the course of all of the years that we had been married before.

I have found a new passion in life…..to share the joy of laughter with others. And there are so many out there who need to experience the freedom and light that laughing can bring. I’m so passionate about the power of laughter, that I’ve completely changed the focus of my coaching business. And thus, “Laugh Away the Stress” was born, so check it out at www.laughawaythestress.com.

I hope you take the time to laugh today. You don’t have to have a sense of humor to do it. You don’t even need to find something funny to laugh at. You don’t even need to feel like laughing. Your brain doesn’t know the difference. Try faking it for 10 minutes. Big fake belly laughs. That will release the endorphins in your brain that will make you feel better. It can also help to reduce pain, anxiety, depression and it feel REALLY good!

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How Noise Effects Your Stress Level

November 1, 2009 katmill My insights
Noise and stress concept - woman covering ears

Have you ever had one of those days? You know, the kind where the kids are crying, the dogs are barking, you have the vacuum cleaner running, the television is blaring, one of your teenagers had the music up very loudly, the washer and dryer is running and the dishwasher is going. And with all of that noise, you just want to scream. You long for a few moments away to quiet the chaos in your house and in your mind.

When you are being inundated with large amounts of noise without interruption for an extended period of time, it can rob you of your peace of mind and your feeling of well being. Most people are completely unaware of how exposure to too much noise effects us, mentally, emotionally and physically.

Now, most people are aware that exposure to noise that is too loud can create a loss of hearing. If you go to excessively loud rock concerts, your ears will probably be buzzing for a while after you leave the venue. Factory workers, airline workers and those working in construction also need to take precautions to protect their hearing.

But in everyday life, we come in contact with a great deal of noise that can actually work to compromise our mental and physical health.

Some sources of noise pollution that can be found in your home are:

*Appliances such as your washing machine, dryer, mixers, dishwasher, coffee grinders, food processors, microwaves and vacuums all contribute.

*Entertainment sources-Television, stereos, video games, computer speakers, mp3 players. When used with moderate to high volumes, they can have negative effects on us.

*Family-shouting, crying, singing, clapping, stomping of feet, coughing, sneezing and snoring.

*Pets-barking, whining, meowing, fighting, panting.

*Others-toilets flushing, running water, heating and air conditioning systems.

Outside your home:

*Vehicles-car horns, large trucks, airplanes, motorcycles, helicopters, tractors and buses all contribute highly to the noise pollution problem.

*Any outdoor machinery such as generators, lawn mowers, leaf blowers and such contribute.

*Sporting events, concerts, movies, restaurants can all be very loud and overload your system.

Even the small and irritating sounds like a faucet dripping, someone chewing food or a clock ticking can overwhelm you if you are already overwhelmed by excess noise.

So many of us have become so used to being surrounded by sound on a continuous basis, that we cannot recognize how the overabundance of noise is creating stress and eventually health problems for us.

Even the Center for Disease Control and the World Health Organization recognize the growing health problem that is created by noise pollution.

According to the World Health Organization’s Guidelines for Community Noise, noise is an increasing public health problem. Noise can have the following adverse health effects: hearing loss; sleep disturbances; cardiovascular and psychophysiologic problems; performance reduction; annoyance responses; and adverse social behavior.

http://www.cdc.gov/nceh/hsb/noise/

If you find that small noises are irritating to you, if a ticking clock, or the chewing of a family member is becoming irritating to you, it may be a buildup of stress from all of the noise that you have encountered throughout your day. You must do something to counteract the negative effects of noise induced stress in order to protect your health.

If you live in an area that experiences a lot of traffic or airport noise, you can counteract that with the use of a white noise machine that can mask some of the detrimental traffic or heavy machinery sounds.

Music is also a powerful tool that can be used for undoing the negative effects of sound pollution. Soft, soothing music on your stereo or mp3 player can actually help to soothe you mentally and help to calm you psychologically. Soothing music, or the sound of rain, or the ocean can also help to improve your mood and help you to concentrate better when working on projects or reading. Amazingly, soft nature sounds or music do not contribute to noise pollution stress, but have a positive psychological effect and can quickly reduce your mental and physical stress.

Taking some quiet time each day can also be very helpful. No television, no loud music…….just silence.

Meditation and deep breathing exercises can also be effective in helping you decompress and let go of some of the excess stress caused by noise pollution.

Also, if you do need to use loud appliances, earplugs can be a great way to reduce the amount of noise that is getting into your system.

If you have problems with noise waking you up while you are sleeping, try using a white noise machine, a fan, or listening to a soothing CD of gentle rain falling, the ocean or other sounds of nature. Earplugs are beneficial in helping to cover excessive traffic noise, or the snoring of a spouse or significant other.

Also, if a family member listens to the television or music too loudly, suggest they use headphones. You can purchase headphones that plug into most televisions and stereo systems for very little, and wireless headphones are available as well.

Be proactive in combatting the effects of stress in your life that are caused by noise. Not only will you feel better, but you will find that you have more energy, a better mental attitude and better concentration. You will get much more done and you are guaranteed to by healthier for it!

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How is Stress Affecting Your Health?

October 17, 2009 katmill My insights
dreamstimefree_1132919a

Stress….it’s everywhere. And pretty much everyone you meet is stressed out. We are bombarded by stress creating events each day. Deadlines, projects, tests, managing your family, social obligations, relationship issues, illness, rushing from place to place, economic worries, unrest in the world and so much more contribute to the tension, stress and anxiety that we all face each day.

But we have become so accustomed to having an overabundance of stress in our lives that we’ve tuned out the warning signals that our bodies are sending us to let us know that we are not dealing with stress successfully.

Our bodies continuously give us feedback to let us know what we physically need to continue functioning. When our bodies need food, we feel hunger. When our bodies need water, we get thirsty. When our bodies need sleep, we get tired. But in the fast paced, non-stop world of today, we no longer listen to our physical cues.

This disregard of the body’s unnatural exposure to stress is now being manifested in our lives by illness, emotional issues and behavioral problems.

When we fail to combat stress in our lives, it will eventually create physical symptoms such as:

  • Pain-headaches, back pain, carpal tunnel, tennis elbow, neck and shoulder pain
  • Heart problems-chest pain, heart disease, heart palpitations, high blood pressure, rapid heartbeat
  • Gastrointestinal problems-stomach upset, nausea, diarrhea or constipation
  • Sleep problems-insomnia or sleeping too much
  • Decreased Immunity-problems with frequent colds, flu and other illnesses
  • Skin disorders such as eczema and boils
  • Autoimmune diseases
  • Obesity
  • Loss of sex drive

An overabundance of stress in your life can also create mental and emotional issues such as:

  • Anxiety and panic attacks
  • Excessive worrying
  • Irritability
  • Anger
  • Insecurity
  • Depression
  • Restlessness
  • Sadness
  • Lethargy
  • Lack of Focus
  • Burnout
  • Memory problems-forgetfulness
  • Poor judgement
  • Racing thoughts
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Pessimism and negativity

And finally, being burdened with too much stress can be seen in behavioral issues such as:

  • Addictions-Overeating, smoking, alcohol and drugs, pornography, gambling, video game, internet, shopping
  • Anger-outbursts, road rage, fighting
  • Nervous habits-nail biting, Obsessive-compulsive disorder, pacing
  • Procrastinating and neglecting responsibility
  • Overspending money
  • Social isolation
  • Sleeping too much or not enough
  • Relationship conflicts

So, how do you lessen the effect of stress in your life to avoid the physical and mental complications of excess tension? First, you must identify what the major stressors are in your life. Here are a few areas that stress people out the most.

  1. Finances-this is the number one stress inducing factor that people complain about. Particularly when the economy is struggling, unemployment is high, and pretty much everyone is having to pinch their pennies. Stress can be exacerbated if large amounts of debt are involved as well.
  2. Family-any conflict with spouse, partner, children, parents, siblings and extended family.
  3. Job-any frustrations about your job, issues with colleagues, or your boss. Includes frustrations over amount of salary.
  4. Major life events-Retirement, moving, getting married, getting separated and divorced, having a baby, changing jobs or careers, illness or injury, loss of job, death of family member or close friend, bankruptcy, being arrested/going to court/serving jail time, having a child move away from home, having a child get married. We all go through these events at one time or another, but they are considered some of the most stress inducing events that will occur in our lives. You are guaranteed to have a high stress level when going through any of these. Even though some of the events are considered happy, there is still a large amount of stress involved.
  5. Having too much on your plate-having an overstuffed calendar. These are the times when you have so much going on that there isn’t any time for you to just decompress. You don’t feel like you have enough time to accomplish everything, and often get less sleep than you need and eat poorly.
  6. When you are sleep deprived. When you have been getting less than 7-9 hours of sleep a night for more than one night. Lack of sleep is a great way to put yourself on edge. It is next to impossible to handle stress when you are sleep deprived.
  7. Watching the TV news. OK, it doesn’t sound like much, but the news is SO negative, and there are so many horrible things going on in the world today, that watching the nightly news is guaranteed to stress you out. Unfortunately, positive and uplifting stories don’t get ratings, the negative, tragic, horrible stories do.

This is only a partial list of the things that create stress in our lives. So, what do we do to help reduce the stress in our lives? Here are a few tips to help you decompress, de-stress, relax and unwind. When you allow yourself a little time to let go of tension, you will be amazed at how much better you feel and how much more you actually accomplish!

1. Breathe! A lot of times when we are in stressful situations, or focusing hard on something, we forget to breathe. We aren’t even aware that we are holding our breath. Lack of oxygen can cause more stress, and making sure we take some time to breathe can help us to relax quickly. Here’s a simple breathing exercise, that can reduce stress significantly in less than two minutes:

Breathe in for a count of four seconds. Hold the breath for a count of four seconds. Exhale the breath slowly for a count of 8 seconds.

Sound simple? Well it is. Deep breathing exercises like this one are the quickest way to let go of tension. Many physicians, especially cardiologists are prescribing deep breathing exercises to their patients to help eliminate stress. Doing the simple exercise above for a minute several times a day, is guaranteed to help you ease tension and feel better.

2. Laugh! Laughter is such a powerful weapon against tension. Watching a funny movie or TV show, or reading some good jokes or stories can help you decompress quickly.

3. Turn off the news! Watching too much of the nightly news can actually cause depression for some people because of the negative content. If you have to know what is going on in the world, take a few minutes every day to read the latest headlines on the internet or newspaper or allow yourself to watch just a little bit, to get an idea of what is going on. Remember, the news is based on ratings, and the stories about the negative things get much higher ratings than the positive things.

4. Listen to soothing music. No, I’m not talking gangsta rap or heavy metal here. Turn on some good relaxing classical music, smooth jazz or new age. Music is incredibly powerful on our emotions and our stress level. If it weren’t, they wouldn’t use it as a background for TV, movies and at pretty much every store you shop at. It can influence us in powerful ways. Harness that power to help calm you, particularly after a stressful day at work or after dealing with a conflict at home.

5. Learn to say “No” more often. Many times we agree to do things, even when we are already overwhelmed with obligations, because we feel guilty saying no. Recognize when you are already booked up, and don’t be afraid to say no. I guarantee that most people will understand if you say no. Simply let them know that you have a lot to do already. If they have a problem with it, it is their problem, not yours. There is a lot of freedom in learning to say no.

6. Get enough sleep. We need 7-9 hours of sleep a night to recharge our bodies. If you get enough sleep a night, you can handle stress better and will be more productive. You will even eat better, since sleep deprived people tend to crave more junk food.

7. Take your vitamins. Having enough nutrients, particularly the B-complex is very important to helping us cope with stress. A good multi-vitamin or a B-complex vitamin can go a long way to helping us manage stress.

These are just a few of the things that you can use to reduce stress. When you reduce stress, you will find that you get more done, you feel better, your health will improve and your relationships will be better.

Happy relaxing!

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Are You Tied Up in Nots and Suffering from Terrible Too Syndrome?

September 28, 2009 katmill My insights
Knot

So what is holding you back from experiencing the type of success you’ve always longed for in your life? Is it life that is really holding you back? Or are you tied up in nots and suffering from terrible too syndrome?

You may be wondering what those things may be? Well, how many times have you said to yourself “I can’t do that because I’m not attractive enough, rich enough, educated enough, talented enough”, and on and on and on? Or have you ever said “I can’t do that because I’m too old” or “too young, uneducated, uncreative, untalented, overweight, poor, unattractive, etc.”

If you’ve done either of these things, then you are experiencing the symptoms of the terrible too syndrome and you are definitely tied up in nots.

This type of internal conversation we have with ourselves, are based on fear. We are afraid to try new things because if we fail, we will feel even worse about ourselves than we already do. They are simply excuses that we use so that we do not have to try.

The truth is, that in order to be successful, we have to be willing to try. We have to be willing to fail, because that is how we learn. And we just have to do it afraid. I think if you were to ask any fire fighter or soldier if they were afraid about running into danger, they would say yes, definitely. But the fear doesn’t stop them. It doesn’t paralyze them. They do it afraid. They are willing to take the risk and face fear head on in order to successfully save lives and defend others.

So what is one thing that you’ve always wanted to accomplish in your life? What are the excuses you’ve allowed yourself to accept so that you didn’t have to try? And what is the worst that could possibly happen if you do try and are not successful? You will be exactly at the same place you are at now.  I promise that your life will not abruptly come to an end and the walls will not come tumbling down.

And what is the best possible thing that could happen if you confronted your fear and made an effort? You could experience success and feel even better about yourself.

You’ll never know exactly how successful you can be if you never try? Are you ready to take the first step? The choice is yours.

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The New Dirty Four Letter Word……"Fail"

September 21, 2009 katmill My insights
Man with painful headache

I’ve recently been made aware of a new, dirty four letter “f” word that is plaguing our society these days. The word fail, is a very powerful part of our vocabulary. From a young age, we are taught that any kind of failure is simply unacceptable. If you get failing grades, then you are not good enough. If you don’t have a successful career, marriage and family, then you are a failure.

So much emphasis on trying hard to not fail can set up a perfectionist mindset which can completely undermine any efforts for real success in life. When you become a perfectionist and cannot live up to the high standard of perfection, it creates anxiety and added stress. Many who find themselves in this boat, simply give up trying at all. It becomes easier to not try than to face the idea of being a failure yet again.

So what is so wrong with failure? Nothing. As a matter of fact, in order to be successful in life, you have to be willing to fail. It is when we fail, that we learn and grow.

Thomas Edison did not make the lightbuld a success on his very first try. The first try was a failure. But he did not give up in defeat. He wrote down what he’d done, changed the formula and after thousands of tries, finally created the lightbulb which lights our homes every night.

Early in Harrison Ford’s career, he was kicked out of the talent pools at both Universal and Columbia and was even told by one studio executive that he seriously lacked “star quality”.  But he did not throw up his hands in defeat. He did not turn his back on Hollywood and walk away for good. He continued auditioning and acting in small movie and television roles when he could get them. It was his persistance and refusal to allow the rejection to deter him that landed him a role in a movie called “American Graffiti” directed by George Lucas. Later, when Lucas had a difficult time casting the role of Han Solo in his movie “Star Wars”, he called on Harrison Ford to come and audition. Of course, Ford won the role, which began spiraling his career upwards. Ford now makes eight figure salaries for his films and is an internationally recognized actor.

Jack Canfield, the successful author of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series of books had the first “Chicken Soup” book rejected 140 times. He was even told that the book was too positive and that there was not an audience for an anthology like that. But he continued to pursue publishers until one finally took a risk on the project. The “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series has gone on to sell over 80 million copies and has been translated into 37 languages.

So what is the common thread that is found in these success stories? They did not give up! They embraced failure and learned what they could from it. They allowed failure to help them grow and to learn valuable lessons so that the next try would be even closer to success.

In the business of coaching, there is a wonderful quote that coaches live by. “There is no such thing as failure, only feedback”. It’s when we learn to adjust our attitudes about making mistakes and recognize the valuable feedback we receive from making mistakes and failing, that ultimately, we will be able to achieve the success we strive for.

When I was in college, I was very active with the opera program at the University I attended. I was successfully being cast in choice roles. But I was such a perfectionist at the time, that I lost my love of singing. If it wasn’t perfect, then I wasn’t happy. I considered myself a failure.

As a result of the pressure I put on myself, I ended up with extreme anxiety, having panic attacks several times a week. There was no joy left in doing something that I had been passionate about. Years later, I read a wonderful book entitled “The Inner Game of Music”. That book was eye opening for me. It talked about how when you focus on not wanting to fail, you end up with more tension which will cause you to fail more. When you give yourself permission to be imperfect and to make mistakes you will end up being more relaxed which will lead to a better performance.

Have you ever watched a figure skating event on TV? If so, perhaps you’ve notice that if a skater falls once during a routine, typically they will fall again. Why? Because they’ve lost their focus on what is ahead of them. They remain focused on the mistake they already made, which creates tension in their body. Since they are focused on the past, instead of what is ahead of them, they are much more apt to fall again. Because they are focused on the past failure in their performance, it does not allow them to relax enough to achieve success throughout the rest of their routine.

So what do you do when confronted with failure? Do you give up? Or do you not even bother trying because you feel you can’t handle another failure? Just remember that failure is a part of life. You will not always be successful at different thing you try. But there is always a wonderful opportunity to learn and to grow. The feedback is absolutely neccessary to make positive changes. It’s up to you to try.

The real failure is not even making an effort. Aren’t you worth more than that?

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